Strong & Fierce
Anxiety is something that many people struggle with, in fact, about 18% of the nations population struggles with some sort of anxiety. Let me tell you this, I struggled with it too. As a young girl, I don’t remember how and why I struggled with anxiety, it was like I was born that way. I remember feeling so anxious I could hardly sleep at night. Everything scared me. I couldn’t go to school without imagining something awful happening to my parents while I was gone, so I would pretend to be sick so I didn’t have to go to school. When I did go to school, I would have massive headaches and would be so anxious that I would throw up. I couldn’t stay the night at my friends houses because I was too scared to be anywhere but at home. Even as an infant, I was attached to my parents and wouldn’t go to anyone else. Anxiety ruled my life.
As I grew older, I could handle it a little better. I never went on medication for it, I just coped with it. I didn’t think it was bad enough to see a doctor for. I wasn’t super serious about my relationship with God until my late teen years, so when I really started reading His word for myself, I read verses about anxiety. My parents also counseled me a lot and helped me through it.
I loved to sing as a small child, but of course, I was too afraid to sing in front of people. I would shake at the very thought of singing in front of others. I always wanted to be a “famous” singer though, so I knew at some point of my life that I had to sing in front of others. I learned guitar and from there started writing my own songs. Let’s just say they were horrible, and they weren’t for the Lord at all. I wrote “love songs,” (like I even knew what love was at 14.) The only person I would show my songs to was my best friend. I only sang in front of her occasionally to show her my songs. We even wrote songs together.
One Saturday at church I was prophesied over that I would be a bold leader. The man then said he saw me singing on a stage with no fear. That really stuck with me. Isn’t it weird when we get a word from the Lord that seems completely impossible? After all, I was so timid, there was no way I would ever sing on stage or talk in front of large crowds. Little did I know, this is what the Lord had for me. Years went by and I finally got the nerve to sing in front of my family. That night was amazing! I had so much fear being shaken off me. I was trembling with joy that I finally broke that timidity that held me back from my calling. After that I started writing songs for the Lord. I gave every area of my life to God. My youth leader at the time was an amazing singer. She always encouraged my best friend and I to sing for her with our youth group “band.” Our youth group happened to be all musical so a lot of our youth group nights turned into worship nights. It was amazing. We were really growing as a team. We were even asked to lead once a month for our church! Things were going great. My fear was slowly backing down.
Eventually, I felt the call to start the Facebook ministry page (Liv’s Teen Devos.) My Mom really wanted me to share wisdom with youth on my parents website Restoring The Way (restoringtheway.org), so I did. I blogged as often as I could, like I do on here. God has worked on me a lot while running a ministry. It taught me a lot of self-control and how to be a good example. I not only had to be a good example online, but in real life as well. I had to be true to how I made myself out to be. Yes, that put a lot of pressure on me, but it was good pressure. This however opened a lot of doors for me to help counsel and speak life into people younger, older, and the same age as me. I have loved every opportunity to minister to others.
I then branched out this ministry by changing the name to (Liv Free Ministries) and my awesome dad then made me my very own website. Liv (live) free, from fear, from anxiety, depression, suicide, sexual immorality, etc. It is my privledge to honor the Lord by assisting in setting His children free.
As years went by, I married and moved out of my parents home. Fear and anxiey came crawling back into my life slowly, so I didn’t notice until it got really bad. I could feel my chest tightening, my mind racing, all of it. Anxiety came back with a vengence. I was able to recognize that it was anxiety, so I rebuked it. We must understand that we war not against flesh and blood, but with the spirits of the enemy. I knew it was the enemy attacking me. After a year and a half of being married, we had the Feast if Tabernacles! It was a wondeful time. But the summer before, I was dealing with a lot of fear. A lot of the fear was irrational. I was seeing things in my room that weren’t really there, I had demonic dream, after demonic dream. For weeks I hardly slept because not only did I nurse my daughter throughout the night but I was really afraid to sleep. We had a deliverence conference at our church late summer and that helped me reralize that it was all the enemy attacking me. When the Feast of Tabernacles came around, we had a night of worship and prayer. I felt led to go to the front for deliverence. I was delivered of fear and trama. I also had a demon that was tormenting me at night, and after that night of being delivered I haven’t been afraid. Fear has been stripped from me. Something that has been a part of me all my life is gone. I can feel it try to come back every now and then, but I know that through the name of Jesus, I am set free. I know that through His name, I can rebuke any unclean spirit and they cannot rule my life. I want the same for you all. I want you all to know that you are His, and that you don’t have to dwell in your anxiety, in your depression, or in your fear. You can be set free. If you just call out to Him and rebuke the spirit, it will flee, and you will be free.
Written by Olivia Mancini