God isn’t afraid of your questions- ( Paige’s Testimony )
Hi there, friends! My name is Paige Ferguson, and I am an adventure-seeking, Bible-believing, laughter-loving, Colorado girl! Liv Mancini, and I decided to share on each other’s blogs, and she wound up asking me to share my testimony with you all! So, here goes nothin’.
I’ve grown up my entire life in what you would call a strong, believing home. I accepted the Lord when I was who knows how young, and have believed in Him and His Word my entire life. Thinking back to when I was little, the one thing I was certain about God was that He was HUGE! Who knows why I believed this, but when I thought of God, I thought about the magnitude of His size.
Fast forward 10-12 years, and you will find me trying to hide monumental questions that I had. Was I fully devoted to The Father? – Yes! Did I still believe His Word was true, and valid for my daily life? – Yes! But, for some reason, I began to wonder if He was really there – if He really did move in my life. This may sound strange to you: to be fully devoted yet totally questioning. It was a strange place to be in, believe me! I would pray that the Lord would show Himself to me. However, telling Him that I didn’t want to have the doubts didn’t bring any relief.
One day in 2013, during the depths of my seeking, I met a woman nicknamed Fantastic Fran! She was a strong believer, and loved that my sister and I were too…or so she thought. You see, I was amazing at hiding my struggle. Heaven forbid anyone in my fellowship knew that I was feeling lost. Looking back, the decision to cloak my trial was one that prolonged it. Anyways, Fran asked my sister and I, “How do you KNOW that you KNOW God exists?” *Yikes* How was I supposed to get out of this one? Lying was one of the biggest sins in my eyes, and remember…I was still wholly devoted to the Bible. My sister answered, and I don’t even remember what I said. I think it was something like, “Well, I believe in the Bible, and it is pretty clear.”
During this time in 2013, I signed up for my first Bible Summer Camp called Camp Yeshua! (Fun Fact: I actually met Liv that year at camp. 🙂 ) I unexplainably knew that the Lord would show me something at this camp, but I didn’t know what. I went there expecting all of my problems to be solved.
So, in July of 2013, a questioning girl from Colorado attended a youth camp in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma where she had the best week of her to-be forever changed life. During the worship nights, I felt the Lord like I hadn’t in years. He felt so close to me. He spoke to me directly and through other people, and I felt my questions and anxieties melting away. For the first time in a long long time, I could actually praise and worship Him with my everything. In fact, I received my spirit of worship that year (the ability to praise Him with my heart and not just my voice).
If you asked me what my exact questions were, and when was the exact moment that I had them answered…well, I wouldn’t be able to tell you. All I know is that my faith has grown leaps and bounds since then. I have been through some crazy struggles – from a health issue that doctors couldn’t explain, to the divorce of my parents. But guess what? I was miraculously healed and Heavenly Father never left my side during the divorce. I have cried out to Him from positions of emptiness and hurt, and He comforted me. I have rejoiced over His goodness when He took me to Israel, and He prolonged that joy. He is enough, y’all. And if you are questioning Him now just like I did, know that if you ask Him to reveal Himself to you, He will. He can’t stand the idea of ever losing one of His precious children.
So, if you made it to the end of this…congratulations, and thanks for sticking with me! I pray that this encouraged you! Don’t forget to keep up with Liv’s website and blog, she posts powerful truths! And if you would like to keep up with me, you can find me at the following places ->
Written by Olivia Mancini