Who else has ever had butterflies? When you’re crushing on someone you get butterflies at the mention or their name or when they look at you a certain way.
You finally get into that relationship with that person and as months go by you start to loose “butterflies” or when you get married you feel like you loose the butterflies… But is butterflies the determining factor of love? When you have no butterflies does that mean the love is gone?
Butterflies or Love
I believe butterflies are a pure feeling of attraction or lust. My mom would always tell me that butterflies are, “Common sense leaving your mind”. Have you ever gotten in a heated moment with a boy and you start to do something you regret? (Making out, going too far..) That’s because when those intense feelings of emotion and attraction enter, the common sense factor you once had flies out the window. That’s when your “no” turns to “yes” because the common sense in you that kept you from harm, goes away. It basically makes you make rash decisions without fear of the consequence.
Butterflies are so glorified in this culture. We see all over television that people get into a divorce because “they aren’t feeling it anymore”. Is love always a feeling?
The Bible tells us that
“No greater love than this, that a man would lay down his life for a friend.” John 15:13
When we get married, that person should be our closest friend. That means we lay down our life for that person. It isn’t selfish, it doesn’t envy, boast, etc, you know that verse.
Laying down your life means putting that person’s needs above your own. Love doesn’t always look pretty. In fact, marriage is really hard. Don’t get me wrong, I love being married. My husband is wonderful. But we have definitely had our moments of “not feeling it”. Does that mean we call it quits? Absolutely not. When tensions are strong in your marriage that is usually the time to recognize that you need to put yourself down and put that person before yourself. Sometimes when we get into arguments it’s because we’re either being selfish, not being considerate of the other persons feelings, or we’re disagreeing about something and won’t listen to the other persons idea… etc. Fights are stemmed in selfishnessand pride. We forget to lay ourselves down and put that person first. It’s also being the first to say sorry instead of holding the grudge. Butterflies don’t exist in those moments. But in those moments we have to remember the times we did get butterflies. We have to remember what made you fall in love in the first place. Butterflies are not just an indicator of attraction, they’re important for a marriage. I definitely still have moments when I’ll get butterflies with my husband and I love that. So if you’re in a rough place right now whether you’re married, engaged, dating… Don’t hold so fast to that “butterfly” feeling. The Holy Spirit is going to give you discernment. Trust God. And be careful not to let the butterflies overtake you and make you do things you will regret. Butterflies aren’t evil, but we need to recognize what those feelings are and have self-control.